How I Socialize

Socializing is fundamental to being, but I feel in todays world it is equally important to focus on how one socializes. You wont find me ignoring my friends on my phone at the bar, nor will you find me on all of the most popular social networking sites. I have very good reasons for these decisions and I feel those choices have vastly improved my life.

Time is an important commodity it is important to properly split it in order to stave off burnout. During the work week I tend not to be very social and on the weekend I like a balance of personal time and social time. It is important to have the space to seek personal interests.

When I am socializing with friends, family, and the general public I believe strongly that it should be time well spent. I dont look at my cell phone and often don’t even bring it on social outings so that I can focus on who I am with. I either leave it in my car or just turn it off.

This level of focus is rare today I have learned. It also tends to raise the standards of how these events should go. I enjoy spending time at a bar just talking, but there is nothing worse than an outing that is billed as a planned activity that turns into mindless wandering. Since instituting my desire for greater connection I find I actually turn down social outings more because I know I will find them stressful and unsatisfying. I would rather have one great social event a month that really engages me, than a series of badly planned events where the group’s main focus is on salvaging the evening.

Online I tend to shy away from platforms that are clearly justa grab for ad money, places where I am the product. I left both Facebook and Twitter over a year ago. Today my only social media presence is Diaspora and Mastodon. These are both developed openly and are non-commercial. My profiles on both are wide open and I enjoy connecting with people I wouldn’t otherwise. Ironically, the bigger platforms have become a closed wall of people you already know, killing the online commons that made the internet so great in the first place. I do not miss those big social networks one bit.